We all keep secrets, don’t we? As a matter of fact, we have that one thing we swear that we can never say out loud, not even in our wildest dreams. As human beings, we love sharing information. We are always on the look-out for information (at least for me, lol). I believe that being an open book is okay but having some levels of secrecy is healthier. The next time you try calling someone ‘too secretive,’ kindly check on yourself. Maybe you are the one who is too nagging on their non- negotiable secrets.
Below are 10 solid things that you should always keep to yourself come what may;
1. Income/ Salary
I mean, this should be pretty obvious. It is always mature and healthy to keep the amount you earn to yourself, whether you earn too much (subjective) or too little. Let your character speak about yourself and not how much you earn. As a matter of fact, let that never be a topic of discussion, unless you are negotiating pay rise with your employer.
2. Future Plans
Is it just me, or the moment you tell people what you are planning to do somehow slows you down? That’s me. If I must tell on my plans, I always do so when I know the plan is almost launching. I never do that when it is still on the thought- process stage because people may second- guess your capabilities, making you to even doubt yourself. If you are planning on starting to work out, just put everything together and let people know about it when they see you at the gym. People have a way of ruining beautiful plans.
3. Future Goals
Whoever said, ‘work in silence, let your success speak for itself’ told you the truth. This saves you a lot of explanation and embarrassment lest things go the other way. You deserve to be a work in progress and sometimes people may choose not to let you be that. So, keep your future goals to yourself and let people get shocked when they see you living in that apartment you bought.
4. Love Life
Intimate details about your love life should never be put out to the public, worse off, the internet. Remember, the internet never forgets. If you are going through issues between you and your spouse, don’t resort to telling your friends the ugly details. There are so many horror stories of friends sleeping around with one’s boyfriend/ girlfriend. I’m not telling you to not trust your girlfriends but these same ‘best friends’ could have been jealous of your relationship and may be wanting to get in bed with your man from the start of your relationship. The same applies to men. Cases like ‘my man is tiny’ or ‘my girl is very lazy in bed’ is honestly none of our concerns. If you both feel like the relationship is too rocky, resort to seeking professional help. There are a good number of professional couple therapists in the country.
5. Secrets of others that they trust you with
Have you ever been told something about someone and the whole time you are thinking, ‘ You should not be telling me this’? Yeah, me too. It should be pretty obvious that once someone opens up to you about some personal details, you should not go around sharing them with other people. You running that mouth says much about how untrustworthy you are and nothing about how juicy the story was.
6. Charitable Acts
If you are going to help people, leave your camera at home. Period! There is also this habit where someone gives a needy person shoes then when they see him or her wearing the shoes, the person tells those around them, ‘see those shoes that he is wearing? I am the one who gave them those. If it were not for me, they would be walking around barefoot.’ I mean…
7. Price tags, unless asked
I will use an example to explain this;
We are at an event. I see a lady that looks so good, so I decide to complement her outfit; ‘You look so good,’ I say while smiling at her. ‘I know,’ she replies, ‘I bought this dress when my boyfriend took me to London. I bought it at the Zara store and it cost $900.’
8. Bank Details
Who are you going to blame when all the money in your account gets drained? Yourself sis, yourself. This also applies to your MPESA Pin.
9. Passwords and Codes
It is easier to get hacked or snooped when other people know the passwords and codes to personal things that need your access.
10. Personal conflicts and/or Family conflicts
If you are going through a hard time either in your personal life or in your family, you may pretty much feel like the world is against you and that no one cares. It is worse when you tell such details to people who will end up using it to try and put you down. For instance, I’ve heard of men telling their girlfriends that they are crazy and hard to love because they were raised by a single mother. That, in itself should never ever be an excuse.
Parting shot; We may have been victims to some of these points. We may have told on things we were not supposed to, or we were quite messy with information that shouldn’t have left our mouths. This is our calling to do better as we move forward.